Both / And Intervention Tool (Worksheet + Clinical Guide)

This Both / And worksheet is designed for therapists working with couples to help partners slow down and make sense of the push–pull that often shows up in relationships.
 
In moments of conflict, one part of each partner may reach for connection, while another part moves into protection. This tool supports therapists in helping couples recognize and hold both sides without forcing resolution.
 
Rather than choosing one experience over the other, the goal is to understand how each side is trying to help — and how these patterns show up in the relational cycle.
 
This resource supports:

• Increased awareness of relational patterns and cycles  
• Understanding the balance between connection and protection  
• Reduced reactivity during conflict  
• Greater empathy and perspective-taking  
• More intentional, regulated responses  
 
Includes:

• Both / And worksheet adapted for couples work  
• Clinical guide with Parts, Polyvagal, Narrative, and Couples prompts  
• Therapist guidance for pacing and use in session  
 
This resource is intended for use by therapists and clinicians, but may also be adapted for guided use with couples.